Heartbreaking news....

[kelsy]

Today, this morning I was woke up by my mother, who wanted me to come upstairs for a family meeting. There had been a lot of negative feelings in my house lately, and I knew this news couldn't be good.

This morning, I was told by my other mother (non-biological) that she is not happy with her relationship and is breaking up... I couldn't believe it was happening today. I felt that my parents might some day, I have not seen a partner relationship between them for many months, maybe years. I just can't believe it was today. It's pretty much a divorce, but they were never married because it is illegal in Utah for homosexuals to get married.

I am very hurt today, I understand why this is happening but I am very scarred for the future, I am very sad as well, so many people have been hurt today. I don't really have a secure family right now, and that is also very hard.

I needed to get this out, and this forum was my first stop. I don't know what to do, and I feel horrible, I don't have much to say now, and I think I'll go to bed now.

It's sad when these things happen, how can something so common be so hurtful?

-Kelsy

[ruthi]

oh god !!!! i remember the the when my mum and dad asked us me and brother to the same kind of meeting and told that tey are gonna divorce. Ofcourse they lied a lot to me also.

well that was 6 years ago,but it still hurts!!! i still hate them,but i know that it's gonna hurt you sometime!!!

[glow=red,2,300]i'm so sorry[/glow]

[lavieboheme]

Oh honey. Hang on in there...we're here if you want to vent.

[zoffii]

I'm so sorry for you!

[womaninchains]

I'm sorry to hear your news, my prayers and thoughts are with you and your family at this time... hang in there, there is always a light at the end of the tunnel

[ellen]

I'm really sorry to hear that your 'mothers' are getting separated. It's never easy for anyone but if the atmosphere in the house isn't good then maybe it's for the better. Time is a good healer and sharing what's on your mind helps as well, wether it's on this forum or with someone you trust. Things will be ok, it just may be a little rough getting there.

Hang in there Kelsy

[sammie]

time is a good healer, but at the momment it may seem along way off, yes it hurts im guessing, i cannt really explain what im feeling and to give thoughts of hope, as it might sound trifle to how you feel, just to say im here.

xx

[debbie]

I'm so sorry Kelsy to hear this news, but I guess ellen is right - your family is your 'rock' but if that rock is unstable it's just not 'safe' for everyone.

I'm sure we're all thinking of you Kelsy - be strong.

[ramkat]

I'm so sorry this has to happen, Kelsy. Even though, as you say, it is common that doesn't make the hurt any less when it happens to YOU. It's also the shock of the news as well, even when you thought it could happen. The thought of change and the unknown is very scary for all of us, in many situations, but particularly when they are forced upon us. That feeling of not having control over our lives or knowing what the future may hold can be difficult when we have a solid home base. When that home base collapses it seems even worse until that base rebuilt.

Don't be worried about talking to people about whatever fears and issues you have. It helps to get it off your chest, especially when you are fearful of the future. Is there help you can access at school, if you feel comfortable with that? Here in Australia we have a dedicated Kid's Help Line where young people can ring and receive advice and counselling, or just a friendly ear, that is both free and confidential. Do you have somthing similar where you are?

Whilst your mothers are also hurting a lot at the moment and don't want to be together anymore, that is separate to the relationship they each have with you. Never forget that and try and let them continue it if you can cope.

I hope that at some time in the future, sooner rather than later, you will be able to look back on this decision as something positive for all concerned.

Thinking of you, Kelsy. You know many of us are happy to listen if you need a friendly ear.

Kathy

[kelsy]

Thanks a bundle guys, your words are very comforting and helped a lot. This morning is much better, everything seems pretty normal, and my moms are actually going to a play together this morning which shocked me.

I guess my [non-biological] mom Suzanne is going to stay with her sister because my other mom Gil doesn't want her in the house. This is hard for me because Gil has a lot of disabilities and that is the majority reason why Suzanne has decided to end the relationship. I am most scared that Gil is going to be really depressed, because she's had it before and it won't be good if It's just me and my sister and her. Suzanne says she will see me every day, which is really nice because she gives me most support.

It's a scary future, but I think my mind has stopped me from thinking about it too much. That's why I'm not really sad right now.

Thanks again for your words of encouragement, and I think I will go talk to someone, maybe a therapist or something.

<3 much love

[teresa]

I'm so sorry kelsy.
The same thing and others happened to me and my family the last two years..
Hope you are OK at the moment and I'm so proud of you that you decided to see a therapist. These people are the best to talk to in such situations. They helped me a lot after the death of my mom.
I wish you all the best!!!

[ruthi]

i also talked to a therapyst in 2001 coz the death of my granddad and divorce of my parents were in that year!!!
yeah they helped me quite a lot but i hope they'll help you more!!!

[shaz]

I'm so sorry to hear of this Kelsy I really hope you manage to get things straighten out, and that you're ok. You can always vent at me if you need to

[cesca]

Hang in there Kelsy, time is a great healer. And just because your mum's have fallen out of love with each other, I'm sure they don't love you any less. We humans are a wierd bunch, and I don't think we will ever figure this whole life thing out entirely. If you find you need to talk to someone like a therapist, don't feel bad, therapy happens to the best of us as I like to think. And you will always have us guys here if you need to vent.

xxxxxx

[kelsy]

Hey guys, it's day 3, but I haven't really been sad lately. I might go to a therapist, but I don't know if I need one yet, but if I do my parents will get me one. Maybe I'll talk to them about it. How do therapist help? I know you talk to them, but what kind of things do they tell you?

Thank you everyone, for your support, it doesn't go unnoticed.