and the news is that i love you all,especially those who have helped me a lot or communicated with me a lot. thank you! i wanted to tell i consider the most of you as my friends and i thank you for that. thank you for being there for me sometimes when i needed or advising me before meeting Tony or advising me at making some big desicions . and thank you for believing me!! You alll rock!! Today is the day when i finally realised that i really am happy!! There's nothing wrong why i shouldn't be happy!! And i love myself and i quite am satisfied myself(not totally but still)!! I have to be braver also and not to be afraid of communicating people.
[glow=red,2,300]I AM SO SO HAPPPY!!! and I LOVE YOU! and I LOVE MYSELF!![/glow]
Hopefully i'll get sometimes to the UK or USA ,Holland,Sweden?? Or maybe i can show you Tartu?-Coz i really want to meet you all
BTW-i'm really happy also coz in september starts my senior year in highschool and i'm gonna graduate soon!! BTW-it's reallly lovely to be adult now!! So many aquintances take me more seriously now!! and i can go out whenever i want!
well i have had wonderful time now being positive!! and gosh it reallly works! I've made 2 really nice (guy)friendú or actually aquintances in just few days!! And so many old aquintances have contacting me more!! Oh gosh- i finally enjoy my life ,every single day of it . Every single minute of it-without thinking out some nasty and negative bad (what -could-have-happened/ what -could-happen or gosh-i'm-pretty-sure-she/he-hates-me)! That's history now!!
I've done some pretty radical things(they're not radical in normal way of thinking ,but they are really radical to old me)!
for example ,last night i went to a nice really cozy concert at cafe Shakespeare,where my friend(non-proffesional singer) performed!
Sat on a empty couch. Then ordered a glass of champagne(Duc du Paris!-Delicious! and i really enjoyed it without false-embarrasement)! Then saw one pretty nice guy sitting alone on a next couch! Checked him ! Gosh i was bit bored alone! Ok grabbed my bag,phone and champagne-went to him and asked if i could sit there! He said yes! We introeduced eachother! Started talking-in about 10 minutes we found out how many common friends we have etc. Then came one of our common friends there and said that she had been watching us all the time -and it was pretty awesome! Then we spoke to her! Then came Kerttu,the girl who sang!! The four of us spoke for quite a long time! Then they left-Kerly went away and Kerrtu went back singing. Then came my old aquintance(friend) who i hadn't seen for months! I spoke to him a bit! Went back to Kaarel and pretty soon i found myself leaving with him!
So if i had seen him on last sunday,i would have never went to speak to him!! Gosh gosh!
BTW-Kaarel(the guy i spent my night with yesterday)! I found out when i saw his photos at orkut.com that i had seen his photos before and i had thought how cool it would be to meet him!
And i didn't even recognised him yesterday!
I didn't even mind my looks yesterday(yes i'm fat! I know! And i'm dealing with it! ) but i'm feeeling so confident!
Ok i've been acting crazy! (others say that it's not crazy ,it's the most normal thing in the world), but it was crazy for me!!
BUT GUESS WHAT? [glow=red,2,300]I*M LOVING IT!![/glow]